One of the greatest joys and challenges that any person can have is being a parent – and that includes those who serve as surrogates, mentors and adopted parents.
As school bells ring and the fall semester begins for youth throughout the DMV region, both parents and children are understandably excited, and a little anxious as well.
In many ways, being a parent is tantamount to finding oneself caught in a pool of quicksand. That’s because parents are routinely locked in that two-step shuffle of reminiscing about the past while attempting to anticipate the future, all the while hoping to make the best decisions for their families and their children.
It doesn’t matter if this fall marks your child’s first year of school and you’re wondering if you can leave them with their kindergarten teacher without shedding tears, or if you’re the parent of a senior in high school who has perfected the art of getting on your “last nerve,” the job of parenting has become increasingly complex.
One contributing factor to this complexity is the rapid pace at which technology has advanced.
With many of today’s gizmos growing obsolete overnight, the norms and practices long associated with work, play, socializing and, lest we forget, raising children, have undergone such seismic cultural shifts that the map parents of the past once followed fails to conform to today’s ever-changing topography.
Sure, it’s hard being a parent — a good parent. But for the record, it’s always been that way. And to make matters worse, as parents look out onto the vista — no matter where they live or what their ethnicity may be — they realize that they, and their children, are facing a whole new world.
It’s hard enough for adults to navigate today’s storm-tossed seas while contending with a pandemic that refuses to go away and an economic downturn that has resulted in unbelievably high prices for our most basic needs. But when one factors in the escalation of partisan politics that has led to events like the January 6, 2021, insurrection on the U.S. Capitol, and has fractured America in ways not seen since the Civil War, for those with children, the stakes are even higher.
So, what can parents do to help their children master their coursework in school and enjoy the freedoms of youth without being consumed by the harsh realities of the world?
First, parents might try to set aside quality time each day, shut off the technological gadgets on which we have all come to so heavily rely, and talk to your children – and we don’t mean by engaging in back-and-forth conversations via text messaging.
Forgo the new technology and go old school. Look them in their eyes and ask how their day was. Ask them to share their more eventful encounters from the day. Ask them to show you what lessons they learned and what projects they may have for homework. And allow them to share their disappointments, successes and failures without fear of judgment and without you quickly dishing out your patent words of advice.
Through it all, remain quiet and be sure to listen with care and noticeable concern. Listen, talk, and then listen some more to your children.
Depending on their age, children may no longer need or benefit from bedtime stories but they still need to know that someone cares enough about them to listen to them, to value how they feel and to make sure they’re safely tucked in bed – even if they won’t admit it.